Baby Gag Beer Bottles for your little drinker

This is wrong, but so funny.

Baby Gag Beer Bottles for your little drinker.

I want one

These are great!! I especially like the Super Obama one. Someone buy me one?

Political T-Shirts.

Plotline

Here’s your plot for Storytime Saturday:

A child’s imaginary friend becomes real

As always, don’t make the story too long and check back here Saturday for my story and to post your own. Have fun and I can’t wait to read your stories.

Writer’s Workshop

The Prompts:

1.) Describe your significant other’s most attractive quality (on the inside).
2.) Tell about a time you stole something. 
3.) Choose a poem you like. Take the last line and use it as the first line of your own poem. (creativewritingprompts.com)
4.) Write about a scary encounter with one of your old professors.

I guess I’ll go with number 1, since I haven’t stolen anything, can’t think of a poem right now that has a good last line, and haven’t had any scary experiences with an old professor. Here goes:

It’s hard to pick Hubby’s most attractive feature. He’s very smart – sometimes too smart for me. There are times he starts talking about something and I just have no clue, so I just smile and nod. And he funny. Granted, sometimes it’s the humor of a 13 year old, but, it’s still funny. And he’s fun. He’s definitely a free spirit who doesn’t really care what other people think. Very independent and confident. The exact opposite of me in that regard. He also wants to somehow make a difference in this world, make his mark somehow. It’s a trait I hope Princess gets. I also hope she gets his anti-materialistic streak.

For me, I think his best quality is his supportiveness. He keeps me sane and believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself (I am low self-esteem girl, always beating myself up). He tells me I’m a good mom and that I’m pretty (ha, take that, Mama Kat) and basically just keeps my confidence up and keeps me from going into a funk.

So, that’s Hubby for ya. To check out what other people wrote, stop by Mama Kat’s place:

And don’t forget to look at the plot for this week’s Storytime Saturday!

Wednesday’s Word

Today’s word is:

confabulation • \kun-fab-yuh-LAY-shun\  • noun
1 : familiar talk or conversation
2 : a filling in of gaps in memory by fabrication

When Princess is older and starts asking about my childhood, I will probably have to resort to confabulation in my stories, not because I want to make my childhood seem grander and more exciting, but simply because I can’t remember.  I have a horrible memory. And then there are those trips or events where you’re not really sure if it’s a memory or if you’ve just seen enough pictures and heard the story from someone else so many times it just seems like a memory.  For instance, when I was very little, the house we lived on was up  on a hill with a steep driveway. The schoolbus picked me up at the bottom of the hill.  When it got icy, I kept slipping and my brothers (they were teenagers then) would have to help me down. I don’t know if this is an actual memory or if I’ve just heard it told so many times it seems like one.  Do you have any recollections like this?

Invisible City Productions: games

This is a pretty neat site with various independent games on it. Some look pretty neat and there’s a wide range of type, number of players and who it’s geared towards.  If you play any, leave me a comment.

Invisible City Productions: games.

Great Apes and Other Primates – National Zoo| FONZ

Great Apes and Other Primates – National Zoo| FONZ.

I gotta go see the baby gorilla. How cute is that?0

Spreading the Word

A couple months ago, I wrote a post about my woes with a handyman hired to fix our bathrooms. Well, I am now warning anyone who lives in the D.C. area that if they need a handyman, do NOT use the company “David Works” cause he doesn’t. The handyman’s name is David Manuel and he is ignorant, unprofessional, doesn’t shut up, and lazy. He also apparently doesn’t know shit about how to fix things like he says he does. We still have a leak from our shower and we now have a large hole in the living room ceiling. Right above my nice new piano, I might add. Aaaaauuuughhh!!!!!

Today’s Topic: Boogers

Baby Boogers, to be exact. And what a pain in the ass they are.  I can see all you mom’s out there in Ennui-land nodding your heads. If you don’t have kids, well, read on because this may affect you someday.  The reason for this post is because Princess has a cold (so do I, but that’s besides the point, I can blow my nose). It’s her second cold, so I know the drill of all the stuff I’m supposed to do. I have one end of her crib mattress elevated and we sit in a steamy bathroom for a few minutes before bedtime every night. We have a cool mist humidifier in her room, though, truthfully, she seems to sleep better the nights I don’t turn it on, so I’m skipping it. Maybe I’ll put it in my room. It’s less work to clean than the warm humidifier we have in there. And, last but not least, I squirt saline up her nose and suck out all the boogers with a nose bulb. Princess absolutely hates this. She acts like I’m sucking her brains out. I don’t know if it’s the messing with her nose or the fact that I have to hold her still. She doesn’t like being held still. She hates having her nails clipped for the same reason (and I don’t want to hear that you should cut a baby’s nails while they’re sleeping – I’ve tried and it just wakes her up).  But, I use the nose bulb religiously and every night we go through the screaming wriggling routing while I attempt to clear out her nostrils so the kid can breathe. I usually give up after several times. I’ve realized since becoming a parent that I have much less patience that I thought I did. Another mom I talked to suggested I get one of those battery-operated nasal aspirators. It plays music to distract the child and gets all the boogers out, so she said. So, I ordered it off of Amazon and it will hopefully be here by tomorrow. After I use it, I’ll review it here and let you know if it worked or not.  Well, I’ve gotta go. Snot Child has managed to push all of her toys out of her reach, so I should give her a couple back. Later!

Storytime Saturday

Today’s pot was : You’re hired to babysit a dragon

How did I come up with this plot? Princess has been sick lately and that makes her very whiny. I was joking with my husband while he was at work and told him I needed a white night in shining armor to come and rescue  me from the baby dragon with sharp claws and a fearsome cry.

The story:

I climbed up the steep mountainside pathway, holding my skirts up so as not to trip. These folks sure do live out of the way, I thought to myself. I was visiting a potential employer, having answered an ad for a nanny posted up in the town square. I looked once more at the address I’d written down on a scrap of paper. It read:

Second Cave on the Left
Steaming Lake
Craggy Mountain 

Ahead I could see steam rising in the air and figured I must be getting close to the lake. I ‘d passed several caves already and couldn’t help but wondering why someone would choose to live way up here. Perhaps they were “nature” people. You know, the kind that ate no meat and went around nude and hugged trees and such.  A strange breed they were. all right. I paused to rest for a moment, glad it was the warm months. This would be a cold trek in the winter. I supposed the steamy lake kept their home warm, so it wouldn’t be too hard to heat. After all, there wasn’t much in the way of trees on this part of the mountain. Lower down there were plenty, but up here…

I sighed and kept going. Almost there, I thought. They hadn’t listed a payment in the ad. It had better be good if I had to climb this damned mountain every day. I grumbled some more and finally came to lake, pausing to take in the warmth. I tried not to breathe too hard, though. The lake smelled faintly like rotten eggs. I guessed it wasn’t drinkable. There must be a stream around here somewhere, I figured. Or maybe they stored rain water. I shrugged and went to the left of the lake. Ahead of me were several caves. Sure enough, the second one had a thin stream of smoke coming out of it. I walked up to it.

There wasn’t a door, so I wasn’t sure how to announce my presence. I mean, should I knock on the wall or just clear my throat? I opted for the latter and cleared my throat loudly. 

“Hello?” I called. “I’m here for the babysitter position?” I hoped it hadn’t already been filled. I heard a grunting and some scratching noises from inside. Maybe they had a dog. I heard someone moving towards the entrance. The cave turned just beyond then opening, so I couldn’t see anything. All of a sudden, I saw a green claw, followed by a scaly green foot. A leg came next and then a snout appeared, with large pointy teeth and a little red forked tongue darting out. Two large wicked yellow eyes peered at me.

“Oh good. Junior’s been such a handful lately… Hello?”

I was already running back down the mountain as fast as my feet could carry me.

NOW it’s your turn.  Click on the link below and fill in your name and blog. If you don’t have a blog – well why not? You should get one. But, if you insist on not having one, just leave your story as a comment here on my blog. See you next week!